Sunday, October 31, 2010

It's Not Too Late

It's not too late to change your mind.

You still have the power to make a real contribution to the process.

Your vote can still matter and make a difference.

Unfortunately, many of you who are reading this basically agree with me politically.

You are probably mostly left leaning, progressive, liberal Democrats and don't have much affection for the Republicans and the Right. Or you consider yourselves to be Independent and usually vote Democrat.

But some of you are disaffected, disappointed and generally just plain pissed off.
And well you should be. High unemployment, war, global warming, an energy crisis, outsourcing, foreclosure...myriad reasons to be really angry.

Add to that Wall Street bailouts, Goldman/Enron style greed and the seemingly deaf ear that Washington has turned to the average American and you are possibly buying bullets and/or thinking of moving to Brazil.

But guess what. If you put down your hot, foaming cup of cynicism and take a deep breath you might actually remember that, "in this country", (Jack Nicholson in "The Departed")we do have the privilege of electing our leaders and making them accountable to us for their legislative records.

We can "throw the bums out." Sure...

But we don't have to replace them with idiots. We can replace them with people who, at the least, understand the system in Washington and have the intelligence to come up with solutions to our very difficult problems.

We should be celebrating excellence not mediocracy. We claim to value education and want our children to learn and become powerful partners in an increasingly diverse and competitive society.

But we will be paying nothing more than lip service to that ideal if we allow ourselves to be bamboozled on Tuesday. The likes of Sharron Angle, Carl Paladino, Linda McMahon and Christine O'Donnell do NOT have what it takes to repair the damage that has been done to this country. They will only make matters worse and we will all pay the price.

VOTE FOR INTELLECT! Don't vote from a place of anger and frustration. Vote for people who can actually get the job done and then keep at them until they do.
Be a part of the solution...don't add to the problem. Get involved. Write letters. Send emails. MAKE EM' DO THE RIGHT THING!!

Otherwise we will have nothing but empty rhetoric and our problems will only get worse.

Healthy debate among intellectual equals from differing political points of view. Wonderful! That will produce solutions. And if the Republicans just say "no" to everything then make sure that everyone knows that they are "obstructionists." Don't let them get away with it!

The Democrats are no better than the Republicans. They are all bad. Make no mistake about that. That's clear.

But this is no time to hand the keys to the car to someone who not only can't drive but who can't even reach the brake let alone the gas pedal.



If you don't, this could be your last chance to do so.

No kidding...

Saturday, October 30, 2010

Nimby Pimby

Not in my back yard. NIMBY. You know...those people who rail against, for instance, Walmart being located in their town, but have no problem patronizing it when it is located in the town next door.

This attitude is pervasive. What's isn't good for me is fine for you.

Wind Farms? No problem...great solution to the energy crisis we're in but don't even think of putting them where they may mar my view.

Disposal of nuclear waste? A much needed part of the effective use of nuclear energy. But don't bring it here! Don't even run the trains carrying it through my town. Put it over there and figure out another way of getting it there. OK?

Need more prisons? You betcha especially with foreclosures and high unemployment driving people to commit crimes. But if you dare build it in my town I'll just move depriving you of much needed tax revenue and the quality of life in this town will tank. Don't think I won't do it Bub. Just watch me!!

All over the place people live as if they are the only people on the planet. We purport to be a generous society one that cares for it's members, especially the downtrodden and helpless.

But from a distance and almost never face-to-face really. Sure there is the occcasional Good Samaritan...the rare person who will give you the parking space when you really arrived a few seconds after he did.

We love our kids and our folks and our family and our friends but the operative word in that sequence is "our." Not "your" too. Only mine. It's mine...all mine and you can't have a matter of fact you can go to hell my friend.

What would it be like if we thought of the other guy as our brother, our family?

Would we then subject him to the abuses of society? Would we put the landfill in his backyard? Would we put the prison next to his kid's school? Would we pave over the farmland in his community and erect a big box store?

Or would we say "Wait a minute. Wait just a God damned minute here!"

Would we endeavor to find an equitable solution to our problem, whatever it was?
Would we take our neighbors into consideration when we made a decision that might have a negative effect on the quality of their lives?

I think we might.

I think we might not push legislation that could hurt the vast majority of the population simply because it will benefit some fat cat donors.

I think we might not manufacture products that could hurt the consumers that bought them.

I think we might not say some of the things that we say...about the people with whom we disagree.

I think we would be more loving and caring and sensitive.

I think if the Chairman of Smith and Wesson thought about the fact that his product has only one real application, which is to kill people, and that one of those people
could be his daughter, he might think twice about what he makes. He might choose not to make it. He might quit.

For example.

Now what are we to make of this? I suppose that one could say that we are doomed as a society. That we are through.

But maybe we'll pull it out at the last minute. Maybe we'll stop just short of the edge before we go over.

Stranger things have happened.

"It's the bottom of the ninth with the bases loaded. The score is 5 to 2. It's a full count. The pitcher goes into his windup and delivers. CRACK! It's a high fly ball to left. It's going, going,................."

Friday, October 29, 2010


There is almost nothing that ticks me off more than following someone who doesn't use their directional signal when making a turn.

Jesus H. Christ! (What does the "H" stand for? Harry? Herman? Herve?)

How friggin' hard can that be? Just push the lever. Up for a right...down for a left. Period!

No classes needed here. No tutorial. No advanced degree.

Just a little move of the wrist. The lever is right there. They designed it that way. On purpose. Can you believe it? On purpose. To be conveniently located for ease of use.

It's not in the back seat where you would have to turn around, take your eyes off the road and contort your body to reach and then use it.

Nor is it in the trunk where you would have to stop the car, get out, maybe even turn off the engine so you could take the keys to open the trunk to access the lever unless you had the kind of car with a lever inside to open the trunk or a key fob with a button for that purpose, in which case you could leave the engine running but not for more than 60 seconds at which point you would be using more fuel than if you had shut the engine off (how about that for a run-on sentence...?)

No...the lever is attached to the steering's usually on the left...I suppose because most of us are right-handed...which only makes sense within the context of keeping your dominant hand on the wheel while you make the incredibly difficult maneuver of operating the directional signal with your, normally, weaker left hand, unless of course you are left handed which affords you even less of an excuse for not using the damned thing.

COME ON! What's the problem? Are you so distracted with (pick one...) 1) your coffee, 2) your cell phone, 3) your Blackberry (iPhone, Droid, iPad, laptop, iPod), 4) paperwork from your job, 5)the latest bestseller, 6)enjoying your girlfriend,
7) putting on your makeup, 8) food (breakfast, lunch, dinner, snack...fried chicken is the worst because it is messy and makes your hands greasy and you inevitably get some of that grease on your shirt and now you've got a stain that you can't hide as you are about to go into that, all important, meeting or meet that new person from the Internet or the referral from your soon to be, former friend...or a Gyro is messy the car...or a Philly Cheesesteak from Pat's...not Geno's...never Geno's? (why the question mark there? Because the entire preceding sentence began as a question. Let's review..."Are you so distracted with..." That's a question, hence the question mark as appropriate punctuation. OK!?)

So...can someone please tell me why we can't all use our directional signal, affectionately known as a "blinker", before making a turn?

Can someone explain that to me?

Or is it indicative of a larger problem in society? The problem, affectionately known as SYS.


Screw You Syndrome.


There must be a pill for that.

That's a peeve of mine. I am going to produce a TV show called "Leave it to Peever" in which the protagonist is always doing stuff that pisses other people off and has to endure the taunts and jeers everytime he ('s a he...women are guilty here too but I don't want to get into that much trouble) goes out in public.

"Hey there's the Peever! Hey come you didn't turn on your blinker?"


"Hey Peeve...why didn't you put the toilet seat back down...or lift it up before you peed because now it's wet and/or my butt is wet because I sat down on the toilet BOWL instead of the seat because you were so insensitive?"


"Yo...Peevie, my man. You ate the last cookie.
You are one selfish MF SOB...!"

Must see

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Too Funny

Ok...enough politics for a while. Enough ranting.

Let's talk baseball! But before we do that let's talk memories.

Let's talk Moose and Squirrel.

There has been a fair amount of much deserved press over the past couple of days concerning the death of Alex Anderson, the original creator of the Rocky and Bullwinkle characters.

I am on record here and anywhere that records are kept that, as far as I am concerned, in my, not-so-humble, opinion, and according to me, and only to me...Rocky and Bullwinkle is in the top 10 of any TV show ever produced.

I know...I know...I Love Lucy...The Honeymooners...The Sopranos.But come on...Bullwinkle...Rocky...Whassamatta U...Peabody & Sherman...Boris and Natasha?? Are you kidding? Simply and utterly one of the BEST!!

When I was younger ("so much younger than today, I never needed anybody's help in anyway..."...sorry...had to go there...couldn't "help" myself...) I couldn't wait to watch Rocky and Bullwinkle.

I loved everything about it. The stories, the voices, the music, the characters.
It was the highlight of my week. To hell with Bonanza or 77 Sunset Strip or even The Ed Sullivan Show (my parents were devotees of The Lawrence Welk Show so I was forced to was either Myron Floren and Bobby Burgess or nothing...or worse...bedtime!)

It was Rocket J. Squirrel for me!

And the humor! It has been said that it was over the heads of the kids that Spongebob or Ren & Stimpy or Family Guy.

But I'm here to tell you that I got it. Not because I'm so smart but because it was funny and somehow appealed to both me and my parents.

And topical. Boris and Natasha and Fearless Leader...all at a time when we had real fears about Russia and the Bomb. To this day, whenever a TV show is interrupted with a breaking news story (referred to in my childhood as a "Bulletin") I get a feeling in the pit of my stomach that this is it...that "this is the big one Elizabeth...!"

But it wouldn't have mattered that much as long as I had Rocky and Bullwinkle and the gang.

They were wonderful. I miss them. I now know who invented them and, while it is sad that he has died, I am grateful to Alex Anderson for having been creative enough to imagine Rocky and his friends and to put them onto paper. Without that burst of creative genius my childhood would have been a bit drearier, a bit darker...a bit less fun.

"Hey me pull a rabbit out of my hat!"


Would that Rocky and Bullwinkle were on TV...again. Not on Cartoon Network. Not on Nickelodeon. Not on Youtube.

On TV. Every week. Brand New. More fun.

Would that a lot of things were here...again.

Would that they were...

Oh...sorry...The Rangers. I think the Rangers will win The World Series. They want it more. There...enough baseball for you...?

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Right Cross

Correct me if I'm wrong here but it does seem as though political violence seems to go from right to left.

Abortion clinics are bombed by right wing lunatics. Churches that are pro-life are NOT burned by pro-choice activists.

Some gun owners will shoot you if you look at them cross-eyed. Pro gun-registration lobbyists don't mow you down if you are a member of the NRA (or the NHRA for that matter...The National Hot Rod Association, of which I am not a member)

Tea Party Storm Troopers who don't like your political position will stomp on your head at a political debate (...Rand Paul supporter...Kentucky...yesterday...) You don't see Democrats punching warty-nosed witches in the nose for masturbating near a school full of Hispanic-Asian Nazi Cross Dressers now do ya...PUNK?!

Conservative loudmouths plan to use surveillance at polling booths on November 2nd to catch allegedly fraudulent asking them to prove they are eligible. When was the last time a Liberal asked a voter to "birth certificate up?" Uhh...NEVER!

But this is the America we live in today. Violence on the right. Violence in the Tea Party which purports to want to "take the country back." Violence everywhere.

From whom, exactly? The non-violent protestors on the Left? The Peace Corps?? Mother Theresa's Missionaries of Charity???

Not a chance in Hell. It all seems to come from the right hand side of the socio-political spectrum.

And violence seems to be the order of the day. Two wars. The NFL. Cyber-Bullying. Linda McMahon's treasured WWE.

Don't like his point of view? Hit him in the head.

Don't agree with her position? Punch her in the jaw.

Don't think their solution will work? BLOW 'EM UP!!!

What the rabble-rousers don't seem to appreciate is that they have created a, sort of, Frankenstein's Monster. Glenn Beck, Sarah Palin, Rush Limbaugh, Ann Coulter, Sean Hannity, Karl Rove, Roger Ailes, Michele Bachmann, Sharron Angle, Rand Paul, Christine O'Donnell, Carl Paladino...all of them, and many more, spew hatred and vitriol day after day and this is what we've got as a result.

Obama campaigned on change. Ok...he hasn't delivered enough of it fast enough for the Twitter generation and those with the attention span of a gnat and the patience of a child.

His bad (and ours for being so GD impatient and amnesic.)

Ok. Agreed. We're disappointed. Got it.

But violence? Not the way to go Old Friend, Old Pal (...paraphrasing Jimmy Stewart as George Bailey in Frank Capra's "It's a Wonderful Life"...which it is...or could be...if we would only let it...)

Unclench your fist. "Love Thy Neighbor."

If you don't, then soon there won't be any neighbors left (or right...)...only people on the other side of the fence with a Howitzer pointed at your head.

Monday, October 25, 2010

"That's Entertainment!"

You know that song...right? Now imagine it playing in the background as you read this.

But first, a word from our sponsor...

You can put diamond studded hubcaps or gold pinstriping on a jalopy all day long but it won't prevent it from being a clunker and breaking down on the way to the store.

If the political situation in this country is so dysfunctional and we are doomed anyway, we might as well have some fun on the way down. No?

So I propose that we look at our current candidates in that entertainment.

Christine O'Donnell. What a funny lady. Really...witches, masturbation (no laughing matter if you're single, mind you...), etc. She's so funny. She upstaged Bill Maher...not an easy thing to do as he is one of the funniest people in the business.

And, Holy Cow...Carl Paladino. He is central casting. Can't you just see him in an episode of the Honeymooners where Ralph schemes to take over City Hall by dressing like a politician and promising a meatloaf (presumably made by Alice) to every voter. Paladino is his rival who promises a baseball bat to the first hundred people who vote for him. In walks Norton who wants to be the Commissioner of DPW and we're off to the races...the fun would be too much to handle. Mayor Paladino...or Mayor Kramden. You choose!!

Sharron Angle! Too much to take...I can't catch my breath! Asians! Please...stop! You're killing me! Please...I can't take anymore. Sharron!! I'm not kidding. Lay off. Not me from my job...just with the highjinks. I'm on the floor!!

And Lady Sarah. You absolutely slay me. You are sooooooo pretty, much prettier than Ann Coulter, and would be fun to date, maybe, like W would have been fun to have a beer with. And I love your monologues. You make me laugh but you also make me think. You are sort of like Mort Sahl or George Carlin. Very funny but also very politically saavy. What you don't know ain't worth knowin' (emphasis on "ain't" and "knowin'" ...without the "g") I hope you run for President. That will be four years of nonstop, madcap, hysterics...or unbelieveable run...sort of like Seinfeld but without the Upper West Side Jewish slant. More of an Alaskan, "lost in the wilderness" kind of thing. And the clothes will be great...plaid shirts and hunting vests...but designed by Dior for the city girl...wonderful!

And let's not forget Mr. Iott of Ohio. He could reinvent Sgt. Schultz from Hogan's Heroes. He could wear his uniform when he is proposing legislation and we could all watch him on C-Span. Now that Hogan's Heros is in reruns, we could get our fix of Nazi humor on a daily basis...maybe even on our Smartphone. He would bring totally new meaning to the wonderful phrase, "I now NOTHING!"

And Linda McMahon would be the only politician in Washington who would not be lying when she says she's "wrestling" with a decision. Wow...finally...honesty in politics!You sexy bitch you... comedy! We will all need a very good sense of humor once the election is over.

You can bet your Tea Party on that one!

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Son of a B*&%#!


read Frank Rich in today's New York Times...on the Opinion Page...

"What Happened to Change We Can Believe In?"

Published: October 23, 2010

It is an incredible article about the corruption on Wall Street and the enabling of that corruption by the Obama White House.

I wrote, in an earlier post, about the lack of investigations that have come out of this White House. I wrote about how surprising it is that, after all of the allegations of malfeasance that were leveled during the Bush/Cheney administration, there have been no commissions, no investigations, no trials and certainly no convictions.

Maybe none of the allegations would turn out to be true. Maybe they would all be found to be false.

In this country we are presumed to be innocent when charged with a crime. We are only guilty if we are convicted by a jury of our peers.

The unfortunate truth, grounded in human nature, is that once someone has been accused of something they can never redeem their reputation, never have their good name back.
Richard Jewell anyone...?

But not insofar as these allegations go. Not with these people. Not in this case.

So all we have are allegations of wrongdoing. We have Prosecutorgate and Abu Ghraib and Blackwater and WMD and the subprime bubble burst and AIG. We have charges being made but never being brought.

Holder is silent. Obama is mute. Waxman is MIA.

And after you read the abovementioned article you will probably want to scream. And if you don't, go and read Maureen Dowd, also on today's Times Op-Ed page. Her column about the Thomas-Hill affair will leave you speechless.

Where's the outrage? Where are the demonstrations? Where is the Populist rage?

All co-opted by Sarah Palin and the Tea Party in the name of "change."

Change. Where have we heard that before? Oh, I remember now...2008.

The place? Denver.

The event? The Democratic National Convention.

The speaker? Barack Obama.


I believed him. My little daughter believed him. He brought my wife to tears.

Now we're all crying.

"It ain't over 'til, 1) The Fat Lady sings, 2) 'til it's over, 3) the people who are in charge say it's over."

The people who are in charge will not say "it's over" until they have stolen every last cent from the Treasury, every last cent from every citizen, every last acre of land and every last ounce of dignity we have.

Well guess what my dear reader.

It's over.

Darwin Was Wrong

The basic principle of Darwin's Theory of Evolution states that the strongest member of a society, the so-called "fittest" will be the one who will outlast his peers or "survive", as the saying goes.

What seems to be happening in modern society is the opposite. The weakest among us are the ones who are winning the race. We have jettisoned intellectual curiosity in favor of mindlessly following rules created by a select few. Maybe those few could be construed as the fittest but it seems to me that the rules they play by have changed and are substantially different from those of Darwin's time.

It is no longer the one with the better idea or the one who works the hardest. It is now the one who can game the system or manipulate his neighbor or just plain cheat the best who wins the game.

Someone tells a patent lie and we believe him. Someone endorses another or a product and we tag along. Someone defames another and we say, "where there's smoke, there's fire."

We don't investigate nor do we question. It is ludicrous that an athlete or a performer is paid millions to lend his/her name and/or face to a product or a cause and, simply because that person is adept at their sport or has created a wonderful character, we follow their recommendation.

We make them authorities on washing machines or cars or global warming or what qualifies a candidate to represent us in government...never mind making them our representatives (Murphy, Reagan, Eastwood, Ventura, Franken...and maybe that other comedienne, O'Donnell.)

We shun the advice of those who have studied or have actually written "the book." Instead we are guided by those we admire because they do things we can't. Very few of us will ever be Michael Jordan or Mia Hamm or Meryl Streep or Robert De Niro or even Paris Hilton...let alone Snooki (hmmm...might have to retract that one...a bit too close for comfort...)

But we invest in these people, and many others like them, the power to influence our decisions...the decisions that will affect our lives for years to come.

If Peyton Manning tells us he drinks Coke and that we should too, we do just it. Never mind that Coke will take the finish off a fender if you leave it there long enough and that the sugar content, alone, can kill you.

If Lady Gaga eats McDonalds then everyone who buys her music will be buying a Big Mac too. Never mind that too many Big Macs can make you very fat and stop your heart cold.

Never mind that Jon Voigt's endorsement of Republicans or Sean Penn's endorsement of Democrats could lead us down some very dangerous roads to places from which we may not return (obviously this one invites a choice on your part dependent upon which way you lean...I happen to prefer Penn because I do my crosswords in Penn, not's more funner that way...much more funner...sounds like fingernails on a chalkboard doesn't it...funner...eeeeek!! Which begs the question...remember "Blackboards?" They were black...not green...and definitely not white. Chalk, yes...and erasers...the best job in school. No markers. No. Blackboards. Otherwise we'd have "Chalkboard Jungle" which is just plain wrong. Not good at all...) continue... (I'm bored now but I will soldier on...not for me, but for you...)

Do we make these judgments for ourselves? Do we read anymore? Do we research the issues that confront our daily lives, our very existence on the planet?

The answers seem to be "no." We rely on others to tell us what our opinions are.

The headline in today's Times reads, "GOP is poised to seize the House, if not the Senate."

Says who? Says the Times? So? What do we think? Have we formed a point of view based on rigorous investigation? Are we influenced by that line?

Yes we are. And why? Because we don't take the time to find out ourselves and simply accept, as fact, the statements made by others.

(I'm in the spirit of this post...)

No, we trust other people to make up our minds for us. We let others tell us, not only what to do but what to think.

We are too busy Facebooking or Tweeting (what a perfect name for that do know what a Twit is, don't you? Need I say more...?)
or talking endlessly on our cellphones about God knows what (what can possibly be so damned important to be on the phone about all day long...? Jeez...!)

Miranda Priestly had it just right in "The Devil Wears Prada" where she tells Andrea that the decisions about fashion were made by a very few people.

Exrapolate that thought. We eat and drink and buy and vote based on the manipulations of a very few because we are too lazy and uninformed to make the decisons ourselves.

So...after all...maybe Darwin was right. Maybe his theory does hold water. Maybe it is about the "survival of the fittest."

Unfortunately the fittest seem to be taking us "over the cliff." And we're oblivious to all of it. Like the frog in the pot as the water gets hotter and hotter.

But the bright side is that frog's legs are very good. Did you know they taste just like chicken?

And by the way, Goldman's ROE (Return on Equity...not caviar or the abortion question....which is akin to ROI...Return on Investment...not Rhode of Island or the word for "king" in French) was off by about a third last quarter. I can't get over how sorry I feel for them. Imagine what their bonuses will be at this year's end.


Saturday, October 23, 2010

The Smell of Good Coffee

What the hell is our problem? What is wrong with a whole...collectively...the human race...?

"You don't miss your water 'til the well runs dry."

Just a catch phrase or an undeniable, empirical truth?

We run around, putting off until tomorrow, what we should be, in fact, doing today.

"I'll call him next week."

"I'll do it later."


What if next week or later or manana never actually showed up? What if he died or the deadline passed or the place had already closed by the time you got there? Then what?

Whatcha gonna do now hotshot?!

Seriously...what if the friend, who you were going to visit but then didn't...what if he or she died that day and when you called "later" or "tomorrow" or "the next time you're in town"...what if none of those future moments included your friend...because was dead?

You would never see him again. You would have blown your last, good chance to see hold talk to listen to love him.

The chances would be gone...forever. Not one more minute. Not one more time. Gone...Gone.

Better yet, what if this were your last day on earth? How would you spend it? What would you do?

Would you waste it on frivolity? Maybe. Would you complain about whatever it was that you were doing? Maybe. Would you choose to put "it" off until tomorrow...the thing that was important to you? Probably...

Or would you fill that last day with joy...with friends...with the experiences that you had meant to have but hadn't quite had the time?

We get busy. We prioritize. We choose expediency and convenience. We end up filling our days and our lives with the bullshit minutae of daily existence. Trash, dishes, checkbooks, leaf raking. We rarely decide to say "screw it" and bring a bottle of wine, spontaneously, to a friend's house and "waste" the afternoon laughing, reminiscing, loving.

We'll do it tomorrow or later or the next time we're in town or have a few minutes.

Well, tomorrow is today and later is now and a few minutes just flew by, never to return (this blog may be important to me...but you must have better things to do at this can read this after you've done them. I give you my if you need it. Go...finish this...later.)

Call him RIGHT NOW. Go see it RIGHT NOW! Read it RIGHT NOW! Say "I love you" RIGHT THE F#%* NOW!!

This may very well be your last chance. You never know.

What you do know, however, is that you absolutely, unequivocally, without question...cannot take "it" with you. Not the money, not the cars, not the jewels...not the memories, not the experiences...not the irreplaceable connections of our lives.

Whatever the hell it is that you have been putting off...DO IT RIGHT NOW!

Before it's too late...

Wednesday, October 20, 2010


To anyone who has recently become a follower...thank you very much!

I appreciate your participation.

I hope the blog does not disappoint.

See ya in the funny papers...!

Blog Jam

I'm suffering from Blogger's Jam. This is not to be confused with preserves or jelly...except for the fact that I love strawberry preserves and occasionally orange marmelade, which reminds me of my mother and my grandmother. Once, at my grandmother's apartment, which had been my mother's girlhood home in Manhattan, my mother fixed me a piece of toast with orange marmelade. I was about 5 but I still remember that. How could my mother know where the jelly and bread and plates and knives were in Grandma's kitchen? How could she know that? It never occurred to me that it had been my mother's kitchen too, as a young girl. She was no stranger there even though I was. I have never liked orange marmelade much but it is on the list because it reminds me of my childhood and my family and easier times. But strawberry is my fave and cherry too, especially the cherry from my friend's orchard in Provence. OMG!... or OMD (Oh Mon Dieu...which should never be taken for WMD...Words of Mindless Disillusion)...if you know what I mean.

But...I digress.

I have Blogger's Jam which is the equivalent of Writer's Block...which is not Writer's Bloc which is a cabal of the Algonquin Round Table.

No I have Blogger's Jam. I really can't think of anything interesting to write or opine about.

I'm coming up dry.

I'm tapped out.

Not dry like a good Martini. Not tapped out like a tired Maple tree.

No, friends, I'm exhausted. I have no fresh ideas. The political situation in this country, not to mention the time I've taken up agonizing about the goings on in my beloved France, has rendered me without thoughts.

I'm vacant and arid.

I'm adrift.

But I hope it will soon pass. I hope to be back at it soon. I hope to be delivering my witty, inciteful and always entertaining salvos of intellectual provocation to my devoted readership.

Meanwhile I'm going to relax with a piece of rye with strawberry jelly. Store bought rye, mind you. And jelly! Not fancy-schmancy preserves this time for me. And not free range rye made with exotic flour twice blessed by the local Rabbi.

Nope...rye from the convenience store and generic jelly! Argh Maytee!!

That's me.

That's what I'm doing.

Maybe the simplicity of the treat will inspire me to write again. Hopefully the tasty tidbits will jog me out of my creative nadir (what a great word, Ralph Nadir...the depth to which the failed candidate sank after being too much of a good know...?)

Maybe it will be just the thing to get me back on track.

I sure hope so because this idleness is driving me crazy. It's making me eat foods that are bad for me. Jelly for god's sake. Think of all that sugar and red dye.

Oh well...all we can do is hope for the best. Tune in soon to see if I'm back or if I've disappeared into a rye toast and strawberry jelly-induced coma.

It could be worse. I could be searching for a way to end this blog and not be finding one...



I am copyrighting "Blogger's Jam" and "Blog Jam" but, if you are a follower of this blog, you may use those terms anytime, forever...for free. But track them. You heard 'em here first. Remember that...! Credit where credit's due and all of that...unless we find out that they were coined by someone at an earlier date in which case we might all be a part of the class action infringement suit...all of us...together...yay!!

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Preaching to the Choir

Here's what bothers me.

People protesting their friends!

Ok...we all hate high taxes, war, inadequate health care, potholes, jellyfish...the list goes on.

But standing on a street corner holding a sign as your friends and neighbors drive by will never make any difference at all.

"I hate So and So"

"So do I"

End of conversation.

If you want to change something...if you want to persuade someone to your point of have to start by talking with somebody who...DOESN'T AGREE WITH YOU!

If you're a Democrat, go stand on a Republican street corner and wave your sign.

If you're a Republican go to a Democrat district and yell about your position.

Maybe one out of a hundred drivers will honk to support you. Maybe one in a hundred will roll down their window to engage in a conversation. Maybe one in a hundred will actually stop the car, get out and listen to what you have to say. Maybe then, and only then, will you be able to convince them that your ideas and solutions are better than theirs and they'll switch to your way of thinking.

We are so polarized in this country that we don't even listen to the other guy any more. We see Obama and we jeer. We see Palin and we turn off the TV. We hear Beck or Limbaugh and we change the station. We see Pelosi's name in a headline and we turn the page.

How can we possibly expect to solve the problems that confront us if we won't even listen to the other guy?

And how can we listen to the other guy if we're only talking with people who agree with us?

Well, the answer is that we won't and can't. Unless we shut up long enough to listen and until we start to engage with people with whom we disagree we will be doomed to a steady decline and eventual dissolution.

"Stop, Look and Listen"

If that's good enough to keep us from getting squashed by a train it should be good enough to keep us from getting squashed by the runaway locomotive of our own myopic self interest and destructive behavior.

So, with that in mind, have you heard what O'Donnell said today...?

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Platform Shoe-ins

I've decided, belatedly, to run for President.

Please vote for me.

Here is where I stand on the issues...actually I prefer to a chair at the beach...

1) I am absolutely Pro-Choice. I believe that the government should choose whether or not a woman should have an abortion. Then I believe the woman should have the constitutional right to choose to do the opposite if she wants to.

2) I am a staunch environmentalist. I believe in the environment. I believe we should all have the right to one. Environmentally speaking of course.

3) I am pro-military. I think we should have guns and tanks and a lot of soldiers.
They should all be assigned to as many bases as we can have. But I think they shouldn't have any bullets or bombs because they might kill someone and, as we have been exhaustively reminded over the years, "Thou shalt not kill." Except for mosquitos. No one likes mosquitos. No one would mind if we killed a few hundred thousand. And the soldiers should all be on First Base because we would all then know "Who's on First."

4) We should have full employment. We should all be employed. We should all be working. I believe in full employment.

5) Everyone who wants an education should be able to have one. Therefore I pledge to build a school. One. That will be enough for all of the people who want an education. We don't need to waste the taxpayers hard earned money on more than one. All of the rest of the population already knows everything. Why would they want to go to school? All of those tests and facts and paper writing. Why would we waste money on that? Tell me. Why?

6) I believe in gay marriage. I believe all marriages should be gay. And to that end I support reintroducing the word "gay" into the language in it's earlier form. Have a "gay" old time...the "gay" nineties...etc. I firmly believe in gaiety in marriage. Too many un-gay marriages fail because they are not gay enough. Gay on Garth...

7) Lastly, I believe we should all be allowed to___________________________. Fill in the blank here. After this election we will be on the road to full anarchy here in the U.S. So, in that spirit, I will empower every American with the unalienable (look it's in the copy at the U.S. Dept. of State...nah nah...!) right to institute a law of their own creation and then to have the right to live by it.

And I believe in abolishing all of the roads and the 911 system (except the use of 911 when it applies to remembering September 11 when a lot of people died) People should be entitled to take care of themselves regardless of the circumstances. If your cat is stuck in a tree just cut the tree down. Two benefits: One is that you'll have your cat back and two, you can use the tree for fuel to heat and cook with thereby getting yourself off of the "grid" and saving energy.

Thank you for your time and your vote. When I'm elected I'll ask you to bring your own chicken to put into the pot...or is it your own pot to put into the chicken.

Got confused there. So much to think little few who care.

Any suggestions for a Vice-President? A woman...a child...a pet?

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Nazis, Witches and Sexy Bitches...

The state of political affairs in these United States...


Good night and sweet dreams...

'Nuff said...

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Control Freaks...

Here's a thought...

If the Republicans gain control of either the House and or the Senate next month there could be a silver lining for Democrats.

Two years is a long time in politics. During that time the Republicans, by virtue of the policies they would attempt to put in place, could very well exacerbate the problems that we face. In that case when the Democrats, Obama chief among them, stand for election or re-election in 2012, they will have current statistics to use to bolster their case.

Current is the operative word here. Doesn't it seem odd that the factors that led to the military and economic situation that afflicts us now had their genesis during the eight years of the Bush administration? And yet, the Democrats are having such a hard time convincing (reminding) the voters of that fact.

The economy tanked under Bush. We went to war(s) under Bush. OBAMA INHERITED THIS MESS!

But we are poised to give the Republicans(who, in large part, created the fix we're in)control of the government...again!

But...back to the silver lining.

Give 'em the keys back. Let 'em drive. Let's go over the cliff.

And then, when we're sitting in the wreckage...then maybe we'll "get it."

Then the Democrats...or the Tea Partiers...or some third party...will finally step up to reality.

"If it ain't broke, don't fix it."

Well is broke...and if we don't fix it...we'll be done.

Think about that in November.