Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Your Call is Very Important to Us...

No...'s not.

What is important, apparently, is saving money by automating everything.

I will go on record here and now as being one who absolutely hates the telephone response systems that so many corporations and government agencies employ to "streamline" their operations.


First you dial the number. Then you have to listen to some aggravating and incredibly annoying voice tell you that you have choices:

"If you want sales, press one"
"If you want tech support, press two"
"If you know your party's extension press it now or for a company directory press three (an entirely different set of annoyances...)
"If you want to commit suicide press the trigger...NOW!!!"

And if you think you are too cool and you have outwitted the computer on the other end of the phone you press "O" and you think you'll get an operator...a real Bangladesh or Mumbai or Bakersfield...


You get:

"You have made an invalid choice...if you want sales press one"...etc., ad nauseum!

I want to talk to a person!

I have an issue...nay, a problem...and I am already irritated with my grievance or question and by the time I get Tiffany or Todd or Ahmed...I AM REALLY PISSED OFF NOW!!!!!!!!

Please God...revert to the good old days. Staff your stupid company or agency with real people, however inept they inevitably are. Real people in real locations like Sioux Falls or Omaha or Lubbock. Well, maybe not Lubbock...the accent is too reminiscient of Ol' What's His Name...the former Decider in Chief...

I don't really care where they are or ultimately what they know which is usually nothing but the script in front of them requiring you to ask for a supervisor named Sherry or Richard.

Then maybe you get satisfaction...or not...but at least you could have the conversation with another human being...

...even if it's being monitored for "quality assurance purposes..."

My ASS...!

Or as Tony Soprano said to Dr, Melfi, "If my call is so important to you why don't you pick up the F***in' phone...!"

Thank you for listening.

Now press six to return to the main menu.