Ok, I've been caught. I'm guilty. But I'm not sorry.
I am probably the only man in America who doesn't want to sleep with either Sarah Palin or Michele Bachmann.
It's what we heard about George W. Bush.
"I'd never vote for him. He's an idiot. He's a rich man's son with an Oedipus Complex. But I'd sure like to hang out with the guy. He seems really nice. He'd be fun to have a beer with."
Apply the same thinking to the Bobbsey Twins. People think they're idiots (At least most sane people do. Idiots think they're geniuses which goes a long way in explaining the mess this society is in. But never mind that. Another day for that discussion)
But Sarah and Michele are considered, by many, to be attractive women. Cougars. Babes. And in Palin's case, the idea of taking off her glasses stimulates the librarian thing in most men. You know, Miss Frumpenstein in the buttonned collar, hair in a bun and glasses.
Let down the hair, loosen a couple of buttons, take off the specs and volia! Raquel Welch or, for you youngins, Christina Aguilera.
But I'm here to tell ya that Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann hold no allure for me.
They are not arousing at all. They are the antidote to Viagra.
They become immediately ugly the minute they open their mouths and, unfortunately, they don't seem to be able to keep their mouths shut for even a minute.
Yak, yak, YAK!! Bitch and moan, Whine and complain.
And above all they seem to be so STUPID!!!
If it's one thing I have come to loathe it is stupid people. Maybe when I was young I could endure a stupid woman. After all I was really only interested in one thing and that wasn't stimulating conversation.
If Sarah and Michele could change their hideous tune and be less shrill maybe, just maybe, I'd reconsider.
If they could allow for the fact that there might be an alternative to their screeching ideas and infantile notions than maybe, just maybe I'd think about it.
If they could understand that the spittle that they inveigh is so unbelieveably detrimental to the welfare of this, once, wonderful country and admit that they are morons then possibly I'd ponder the idea.
But none of that will ever happen. They will never change and we will be left to listen to their nonsense until we are too old to know the difference.
So...Sarah. Michele. I know you are thinking of calling me for a date.
I'm busy. I have to sort my socks and when that's done I have to paint the bathroom.
I'm afraid that if either one of you is elected I'll be spending a lot of time in there and I want it to be nice.