New York to California: SHUT UP!

When the Northridge Earthquake hit California in 1994 Americans responded. Our brethren were in trouble...how could we help.

We sent food and medical supplies and people came from the four corners of this vast country to lend a hand at a time of need.

Fortunately nothing major happened the other day when the East Coast experienced a rare earthquake of its' own. What was California's response?

Laughter and ridicule.

Hmmmmmmm....

It makes you wonder. Are times that bad? Are we that insensitive as a people that when something happens to the "other guy" we laugh and poke fun?

We'd like to think not but it seems so.

But it's always been that way. As a matter of fact it's what causes most of the conflict in the world.

Rick Perry is running for president and therefore we have to be subjected to the "Texas is Better" refrain until he, hopefully, loses, or, if he wins, for from four to eight years...OY!

When Howard Dean ran we heard "Vermont is the Best." Mitt Romney sings two songs at once. Michigan is the Best and so is Massachusetts except for its' healthcare plan which he designed and is great for the Bay State but not for the rest of the country.

Obviously Alaska is King, both in crab production and in Palin production, both teenage and oportunism.

Minnesota was twice blessed as the Best but is now only half as Best because of the loss of Casper Milquetoast, er, um...Tim "Paw" Pawlenty who was the Best until he wasn't and had to cede to Michele "Bach" Bachmann who is now the Best except for the possibility of Rick Perry...which neatly gets us back to Square One.

Each state thinks it's the Best. From New York (which does have the Best city...NYC...really...but only slighter Better than San Francisco and much, much Better than Houston) to North Dakota to Georgia to New Mexico, each state prides itself on its' Betterness.

The Best syrup, the Best team, the Best looking women, the Best burger, the Best weather. Everywhere has the Best of something and because its' got something that is Better than its' counterpart elsewhere, the residents think that, by extension, that one thing means that the rest of the state is the Best as well.

Well, I hate to break the news to ya but, dearie, it ain't.

The Best Maple Syrup does come from Vermont but otherwise Vermont is dull except for the skiing...which is, obviously rivalled by Colorado and Utah which have no beaches (I'm sorry but a beach is at the OCEAN...not at a lake...which is really not water in the recreational sense. Boating happens on the OCEAN. Going in circles happens on a lake...)

The Best pizza is in New York unless you like the deep dish stuff Chicago is famous for, which I don't, and obviously the Yankees are the best team except for the Red Sox and the Cubs and the Giants and the Dodgers and the Braves and the O's...but not the Marlins who have the worst colors in baseball but a better logo than the Angels, which is loathsome, but not as good as the Brewers which is inspired.

Texas has the Best Arrogant Loud Mouths with New York running a very close second but not at all challenged by Kansas which is a very quiet state ("I'm goin' to Kansas City, Kansas City here I come. They got a crazy way of lovin' there and I'm gonna get me some", which would suggest that Kansas might not be as quiet as aforementioned...OOPS...just found out that that Kansas City is in Missouri so forget all of that...sorry...Missouri has the second Best river, after the Mississippi, which is really all that Mississippi is good for even if the river starts in Minnesota, which is disqualified because it already has Michele Bachmann...remember?), with the notable exception of Pastor Fred Phelps who is only threatened by Pastor Terry Jones of Florida thereby putting Florida in the running...

California has too much of the Best to mention here...except for a generosity of spirit which, cleverly, returns us to the point of this post.

We, on the East Coast, experienced an earthquake. It scared the beJesus (should that be capitalized, as in "BeJesus" or "Bejesus"...? Anyone? Bueller?) out of us.

It would have been nice if the the arrogant Left Coasters had shown some EMPATHY and loved us through it. It would have been the nice thing to do.

It would have made us feel Better. We would not have felt so alone.

But what do you expect from a state that produces The High Sierras, Big Sur, San Francisco, The Pacific Coast Highway, Napa Valley, La Jolla and Pamela Anderson?

They think they are the Best. Well they're not!

(Here's the interactive part of this post that you, dear readers, have been clamoring for. Comment with your choice and I'll tally the results and declare a winner at some future date, to be announced sometime in the future, on some date...in the future.)

The Best state in the Union is...