Loves Me Not

Here's what happens.

Every four years we are called upon to vote for president. We listen, intently, to the rhetoric and, after careful deliberation, we decide and cast our ballot.

Then, in very short order, we become disillusioned and start to dislike and then, sometimes even hate the guy we had voted for.

The problem is that the other guy is always worse.

I voted for Barack Obama. Not so much because I was so in love. It was more of vote against the possibility of four more long, agonizing years of the Republicans running things. I saw Obama as just another greasy pol only a little less so.

After eight years of George Bush, Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld and all of the rest I just couldn't, in good conscience, vote to elect another Republican, especially after John Maverick (the little known youngest brother of Bart and Bret) had chosen Mrs. Nitwit as his running mate. No could do.

I would have voted for Mickey Mouse had he been on the ticket...four fingers and all. Will somebody please explain that to me? Why do cartoon characters only have four fingers...a thumb and three? Were they all wounded in battle or did they all cut off a finger using a table saw?

So I voted for Obama. Hillary would have been a much better choice but we all know what happened there. Monica Lewinsky happened there. Along with Vince Foster and Whitewater, Health Care, "Don't Ask-Don't Tell", the "Vast Right Wing Conspiracy" and "It Takes a Village."

We were just plum worn out by the Clintons. And we all knew that if we elected Hill we got Bill. They are a great team and were oodles better than George and Laura but the body politic couldn't let it go.

The sex thing is what did 'em in. There hasn't been a more competent husband and wife team in the White House since FDR and Eleanor but Hill and Bill had the Sex Albatross to contend with. In the end, it was just too much.

So I had to vote for Obama.

But now, like clockwork and right on schedule, he has risen to disappoint. His approval rating is way down and, according to recent polling, he is no longer a shoe-in for re-election.

But, again, I can't bring myself to vote for the Republicans.

Imagine hiring an electrical contractor to work in your house. The electrician screws everything up and the company charges a fortune anyway.

You fire them and hire another, seemingly, better contractor. They take too long and don't live up to your expectations.

Here's the question:

Are you going to hire the first company again?

Are you a MORON?!!

So...I can't vote for Romney or Perry or Bachmann. And I don't like Obama.

So what's a voter to do?

Maybe a third party candidate will emerge who will capture the spirit and imagination of the electorate and promise to change the status quo and deliver us from the social hell we find ourselves in.

And where have you heard that before? Any guesses?

Anyone?

Bueller...?