Never Say Di

August 31st will be the 14th anniversary of Princess Diana's death.

September 5th will be the 14th anniversary of Mother Teresa's death.

More on that later.

I may offend some people with this next statement but here goes anyway.

I am sick and tired of hearing about Princess Diana.

She was a marginally attractive, average young girl who married an average prince and, unfortunately, didn't live anywhere close to happily ever after.

When we think of inbreeding we think of the banjo playing boy in the film Deliverance.

We don't think of royalty. But that's who they are. The royals are people who are descended from people who are all related to one another in some way.

These are not, as they say, the sharpest tools in the shed.

Hundreds of years ago some guy was the strongest in the area and could kill anything, man or beast, with his bare hands. The locals would usually make this guy king and then he would run the show.

He did what he wanted mostly because he could. Who was going to stop him?

Kings owned everything. All the land, all the resources, all the gold and, essentially, all the people.

They were his "subjects." They obeyed his commands or they 1) lost their heads, 2) spent eternity in a dungeon, 3) paid the king a lot of money or 4) lost their heads.

Now kings and queens are nothing but figureheads who have a lot of ceremonial duties and a hell of a lot of money.

But they are also the wealthiest group of welfare recipients on the planet. Their countries pony up millions to keep them in furs and diamonds. And all of this is to pay homage to some antiquated sense of pride, the original source of which died off ages ago.

And they are all such pitifully average people. And they really do nothing to contribute to their individual societies. They play polo or golf or go on vacation to palaces. They have yachts and servants and chauffers.

But what else to they do?

Not much really.

Now, Princess Diana was a perfectly lovely young girl. She was a schoolteacher and seemed sweet enough. Too bad she married an older man who was not ever in love with her. He proved that when, not long after her death, he married his true love, with whom he lives very happily today.

She bore two average sons and carried on an affair with another average man of wealth, with whom she died in that crash in Paris.

I am sorry she died. I'm sorry for her and her family. But as far as I am concerned she was no greater than the thousands of young women who die each year in car crashes and from disease and domestic abuse and drug overdoses.

This is where Mother Teresa comes in. I find it ironic that less than a week after Princess Diana died, one of the greatest women in history also died.

Diana's death eclipsed any coverage of Mother Teresa's passing.

Mother Teresa was a truly inspiring person. She devoted her life to God and to the service of mankind. She tended to the poorest of the poor and the sickest and weakest among us.

She was as close to a living saint as you can get. She will probably become a real saint in the near future. No one has ever deserved it more.

But, as I drove along the highway the other day I saw a billboard which prompted this post.

There will be a Princess Diana celebration in September at one of the casinos nearby.

Let me say that again for emphasis and maximum effect.

There will be a Princess Diana celebration in September at one of the casinos nearby.

It's almost too hard to believe that one.

So, I am sick of hearing about Princess Diana. She contributed practically nothing to humanity, unless you count the millions she's earned in royalties for her estate (and the impossible dreams she created for millions of little girls...) At least Elvis and the other Princess, Grace, really did something to warrant the adulation and subsequent windfall in merchandising.

Princess Diana has been beatified simply because she was a princess (and, incidentally, worked to remove mines from former war zones...admirable but hardly worth a spot in the Guinness Book. After all, most celebrities have causes to help justify their millions.)

So on August 31st stop a moment and say a little prayer. Say it for Diana but, this time, say one for Teresa too.

If your lucky, Teresa will be listening.