Free Advice...

Ok, Democrats...here's your big chance!

During the national debate about health care reform the Republicans grabbed the microphone and declared that President Obama's proposals would include, so-called "Death Panels."

People freaked out!

"Death Panels?!" OH MY GOD!! We can't let the president and the Democrats win on health care reform because they will have 'Death Panels'." Little did everyone know that "Death Panels" are really the knotty pine ones that people put in their rec rooms in the seventies along with avocado colored mini-fridges and bean bag chairs.
Those panels were so ugly that they could kill you. Really. I know a guy whose mother-in-law fainted when she walked into his rec room. Never mind that he was smoking pot and watching Deep Throat at the time. We were all sure it was the knotty pine "Death Panels" that did her in.

Anyway...back to the issue at hand.

All the Democrats have to do is declare that the attempt at repeal that is making its's way through the House is none other than the "You Are Killing My Mother" bill.

The Republicans are trying to KILL MY MOTHER! My poor sweet little old mother. In her rocker (or off of it, as the case may be...) covered with an Afghan (hopefully not one who is too heavy) sipping tea (brewed for her by a volunteer from The Tea Party...not!)

"YOU ARE KILLING MY MOTHER" has a certain resonance, a certain ring, a certain je ne sais quoi...

It is all marketing my friends. It is all about image. The Republicans call Obama's legislation "Death Panels" and they get away with it.

All the Democrats have to say is "YOU ARE KILLING MY MOTHER", five times, but not too fast, and Presto! The Republicans lose the debate.

After all, everybody's got a mother. Some have two. Mom. Apple pie, etc. Isn't that what this country is built on, what it's all about? "The American Way?"

Mess with my mother (or father in the case of George W. Bush...See: Saddam Hussein) and I will pull your heart out with my bare hands and put it where the sun don't shine after I've eaten half of it and shoved some of it in your face as you die a horrible agonizing death (got a bit carried away there...sorry..."The American Way" rearing it's ugly head...)!

To the Republicans, sensible, fair health care reform equals "Death Panels."

To the Democrats it should mean "YOU ARE KILLING MY MOTHER!"

If they adopt that slogan they might just prevail. Otherwise Mommy Dearest will be living in our living room on a fold out couch watching endless reruns of Lawrence Welk and farting.

In retrospect maybe "Death Panels" ain't so bad.

Just kidding Mom...