Wednesday, February 13, 2013

You Can't Handel the Truth!

Handel wrote his beautiful Wassermusik (Water Music) in the early 1700s for England's George the First.

It was performed on a barge on the Thames (pronounced "Tems" in London and "Thaymes" in New London...go figure)

Stop the presses!

Marco Rubio drank water yesterday.

War in Afghanistan, death in Big Bear Lake, shootings in Chicago, lootings on Wall Street.  All back page fodder so we can dish about the Freshman Senator's SOTU rebuttal gaffe.

I ask you...who gives a #@%!

The Republicans are so desperate to find a White Knight (pun intended...) that they will put up anybody.  The "Media" is referring to MR as a "Rising Star" and a possible candidate for the presidency in '16.

What about Jeb and Paulie and the other guys who have been patiently waiting in the wings?  And let's not overlook Chris "Doughnut Boy" Christie.  I am troubled by the fact that he has two first names.  Like Boutros Boutros-Ghali.  Why two names?  What were his parents thinking?  Christopher Christie?  What? Like John-John Kennedy?  Is there a, not so veiled. attempt there to glom onto Camelot?  Please say it ain't so Mrs. Christie, Sr.

Anyway...back to water...the drink of life.

I was less bothered by Marco-Marco's drink than I was with the fact that he kept on looking at the camera the whole time like a star struck teenager who couldn't believe he was on national television, delivering the GOP response to Barry's State of the Union speech.

Dude...just get the water, take a huge sip, gulp, drink...whatever...and carry on.  And while I'm at it, he has claimed all day that he was parched from having been talking all day.  So why the measly little sipperoo?  Take a big, fat, dripping, drooling, hog wild, get it on swig My Man!  Throw it back.  Down it.  Let 'er loose!

Like frat boys and athletes who upend a can of beer/soda and, after putting the open end in their mouth, open the top/bottom with a church key ( a can opener for anyone born after 1970...), open their throats and let the whole thing gush down.

Now that's a drink of water.

Not an elegant little tastelette from a small sippy bottle of Poland Spring designer H2O.

If you want to be the ruler of the free world representing, not only your Hispanic bretheren and sisteren (not to be confused with a "cistern", a vessel used to hold water...), but all of pearl-dripping, accent-faking, Audi-driving gabillionaires as well...then you gotta learn to DRINK!

Go to any union hall on Friday at 4:30.

That's where you'll find some real drinking. Some real sloshin' 'll be happenin' there my friend.

Because you can't get the ladies with a "bi-partisan" vote for less violence toward women any more than you can get the Hispanics by simply being one but acting like a Brahmin.

So the next time you need water just take a drink.  Don't look at the camera with those big faux-innocent eyes.

Or turn on some Handel and dream wistfully about "what might have been."

Remember Bobby Jindal?  He was a "Rising Star" once too.

But now, Senor, he's drinking alone...

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