I Love You SOOO Much!

I HATE the Internet, or The World Wide Web, or The Web or being "Online", or whatever the hell you want to call it!

I HATE IT!

Actually, truth be told, I love the Web.  It is an amazing tool for finding stuff out or for being entertained or communicating or promoting or selling something or finding stuff for free.

BUT THE ADS!  Oh My God...the friggin' ads are too much to bear.

I have a new PC (I used to be a Mac guy until I was forced to choose between selling my house or buying a new computer...) which I got for not a lot of money recently.  It's a perfectly good computer with all of the features one could want, with the exception of Office which I have yet to buy for an additional cost, which used to come with the computer but no longer does, because Microsoft needs to increase profits so Bill Gates can donate more money to the underprivileged so they can rise up out of poverty and become contributing citizens rich enough to buy more computers that don't have Office and will then have to buy the software for an additional cost...

Ah...sidetracked there for a minute...

The friggin' ads are SOOOO unbelieveably frustrating that they almost make you want to turn off the computer and buy a carrier pigeon and/or invest in Dixie Cups and string.

First, the computer takes its' own sweet time in booting up.  Then you have to navigate Windows  which, by universal measure SUCKS/BLOWS/is Terrible...!

Then you hit the Explorer icon, if you're using Explorer, which I do (I will hear from devotees of other browsers but...whatever...) and you have to wait for it to load.

I have Google as my home page.  Others have other home pages.  My hat goes off to you.  More power to you.  God Bless You...

Google loads and then I'm ready.

Where do I want to go?  The New York Times?  Craigslist?  Weather.com? My blog (to regale you...) Where, exactly?

Wherever.

But now the "fun" begins.

First I punch in the URL.  Then I am told that we are "waiting" for it to "respond.  Like it's a person or something.  "Hello..."  Nothing.  "HELLO...!"

Then FINALLY...the website I was after.

But NOOOOOOO...not so fast my friend.  Not so FAST!

Banners and popups and ads of all sort about everything and what's almost more disturbing, ads about stuff that I'm marginally interested in which magically appear on the screen as a function of previous searches or emails. Creepy...

I wish I could just go online and do what I came to do without being bombarded by the prevailing commercialism that has become the norm.

The once delightful Internet has become an unbridled marketplace of useless and, largely, unwanted crap that just serves to prevent us from actually doing what we came to do.

Communicate with friends.  Surf for entertainment or information.  Learn. Enjoy. Discover.

No longer.  The World Wide Web has become like broadcast television (including the venerable PBS and their Pew Charitable Trust and MacArthur Foundation drivel...), full of advertising and short on meaningful content.  Even the once pristine, easy to navigate world of Craigslist has ads now.  Tragic.

Some liken the modern Internet to the Wild West of the 1800s.

Maybe...maybe the bad guys shooting up a saloon after a cattle drive.  A bunch of morons with too much money, gambling, drinking, whoring, hung over and in need of a bath.

The World Wide Web.  Boot Hill. 

Too bad.  How to spoil a great thing.

Reminds me of the wonderful billboard that once greeted visitors to The Granite State (but in the case of the Web, is too late):

"Welcome to New Hampshire.  Now go home..."