Help!! I'm a Republican...

Contrary to popular misconception, I am a thinking man.

I examine and analyze. I ponder...

And it is because of that, that I am quandrified. I am in a quandary.

For many, many years now I have thought of myself as a self-respecting Liberal. Maybe not a pure Democrat but something akin to that.

I have only voted Republican once and that was in 1972. It was the first time I was entitled to vote. I had just turned 21, which was the voting age at the time. My father was a Republican, through and through, and because I revered him and trusted in his judgment, I took his advice and voted for...breathe in and close your eyes and please forgive me in advance...I voted for...Richard Nixon.

I didn't know any better. Even though it was the sixties...well actually the seventies but really the sixties mentally...I was an empty headed American boy with absolutely no political awareness whatsoever. I really believed that voting for George McGovern, in the middle of the Viet Nam War, would be a bad thing.

So I voted for Nixon.

So shoot me. That's what I did.

But ever since then I have become a bit more concious. I have always voted Democratic. Not so much because I loved the assorted candidates but because I couldn't bear to help elect the arrogant, know-it-all, righteous, pompous Republicans.

Gerald Ford, Ronald Reagan, George H.W. Bush, Bob Dole, George W. Bush, John McCain.
I just couldn't do it. I couldn't stand the idea of being a part of the effort to put these men in The White House.

So I dutifully voted for the Democrats, including Michael Dukakis.

And, yes, I voted for Barack Obama. As previously mentioned in this space I was in Denver working for ABC News and covered his convention. I was 100 feet from him when he accepted the nomination in Invesco Field. I saw the tears. I felt the energy.

But this time I'm politically confused. I'm all messed up.

For example:

I don't think we should be mandated by the government to have health insurance or otherwise be penalized. I can't find, in The Constitution, where it says that health care is a "right." It should be up to me whether or not I have health insurance. If I want it then I should buy it. If not, then tough nagolians for me. But I shouldn't be penalized if I choose not to have it.

That's a pretty Republican point of view.

I also think it is unfair to tax millionaires a greater percentage of their income just because they are millionaires. On balance they are rich because they had a good idea or they got an education or they worked hard or they saw an advantage and took it. That's all a part of the American Dream. It's what we are all told from birth. In the Capitalist, Free Enterprise system, if you work hard and are smart then you can succeed. In our culture we measure success by how much money we have.
We shouldn't be penalized because we "made it." Pay taxes? Yes. Close loopholes? Yes. Stop corruption? Oh, Yeah! Be fair? Yes, yes, yes!

That's also a pretty Republican attitude.

And I think we should cut wasteful spending in Washington. We should operate, as a country, within our means. We should balance the books and buy only what we can pay for. That's another thing we are taught as children. "Don't bite off more than you can chew."

More Republican thinking on my part.

But, on the other hand I think Gays should be afforded the same rights as any other citizen. I believe in a "woman's right to choose." I think "illegal aliens" should be given a legal path to citizenship so they can continue to clean our toilets, pick our fruit and raise our kids.

That's all very Democratic.

So, my dear friends, as I said before, I'm all screwed up politically.

What to do. I can't stand the Republican candidates but I'm not so enamored of Obama either.

Maybe, this time, I will vote for Ralph Nader. Even if he isn't running.

Or maybe I'll just stay at home and wait for the Apocalypse.

My vote doesn't really mean anything anyway...