Thursday, December 18, 2008

45 Years

Over the years I've searched (until today) in vain for an old friend from junior high school.

I found out today that he died in 1998. I was shocked. I always thought I'd find him somewhere. He would be happily married doing something he liked with kids and a dog and a picket fence.

But now I know that none of that was true.

We were friends in 1964. We were 13 and at boarding school in New England. We were always in trouble together. Always.

Then he left school and I never saw him again. I knew nothing of what had become of my best friend.

Then came the Internet. I started to Google him from time to time. I tracked him down to Houston. But, alas, he was not the same guy. Too young.

Time passed and I tried again. This time I put in his father's name and I had remembered that he had worked in the overseas division of General Motors. And bang, there he was, in the New York Times Obituary section. And as I read the piece, there in black and white was my friend's name, not following "survived by" as I had expected, but following the word "late"

My friend was the "late" son of the deceased.

...oh...

And so I Googled his mother and found her obituary. A dead end (no pun intended)

But I saw his uncle's name so I Googled him and found him with a web site. So I emailed him and he wrote back with a phone number and I called him.

My friend had served honorably on the USS Coral Sea in Vietnam. He had been injured. He then went to work for General Motors. He had a stroke in the 90's and while trying to recover had an aneurism and died. On December 15, 1998. No wife. No kids. No picket fence.

He was a funny, genteel, smart and charismatic guy. He was bound for greatness. His family was rich (I remember visiting their Park Avenue apartment) and gracious. He was cosmopolitan and had lived around the world. We would have been great lifelong friends had we stayed in touch.

But we didn't and now he's dead. I looked for him on and off for over 40 years and now I've found him.

He will always live in my heart and memory as that co-conspirator and best friend of 8th grade in the Litchfield Hills.

I miss you. And I love you. Rest in peace my old friend...Mark Alexander Rhea.

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