Tuesday, March 22, 2011

To Tell The Truth

Garry Moore. Kitty Carlisle. To Tell The Truth.

What would happen if we brought the show back, but instead of interesting people pretending not to be themselves we had heads of state and government leaders pretending not to tell the truth.

In the first place the activity would be easy for them. They have a lifetime of practice. How else were they either elected or appointed? By lying at every turn that's how. There ain't a George Washington among 'em. Never mind that the whole cherry tree thing is a fable. But old George's image has gotten a pretty good ride out of the notion that he could "never tell a lie."

Not so for the recent and current crop of criminals. Lie after lie after lie. That's what our government is built on now.

Gone are the days of having but "one life to give." Gone is the sacrifice.

What we now have is a group of weasels all looking for the largest constituency of voters. Tell 'em anything to get elected and then do what you damn please...or the bidding of your corporate sugar daddys which is much more likely.

Gone are the heroes of the original United States. What we have now are draft dodgers, corporate pimps and blown dry pretty boys without enough spine to be considered anything but wimps, pure and simple.

Just tell the truth! And please, start by telling the truth about our adventures in warmaking around the world.

First Afghanistan, ostensibly because of 9-11.

Then Iraq, ostensibly because of Saddam.

Now Lybia, ostensibly because Qaddafi is murdering the opposition.

We don't really care.

Where were we in Bosnia? Where were we in Rwanda? WHERE ARE WE IN DARFUR?


Just tell the truth. For once. Then maybe these wars would be as popular as World War II was. By the way...why is the "coalition" in Lybia being referred to as the "Allies?" That word evokes WWII. Maybe that's why. The organizers want to be associated with the image of that war and that generation in this latest lark. It's because those that involved us in that war were heroes and our leaders now are cowards...that's why.

WWII was about Adolph Hitler. The truth was told. The war was a success.

Vietnam was about rubber. The truth was not told. The war was a failure.

The Gulf War was about Saddam threatening the Saudis. The truth was told. The war was a successs.

Afghanistan is about oil. The truth was not told. The war is a failure.

Iraq is about oil. The truth was not told. The war is a failure.

Lybia is about oil. The truth is not being told. The war will be a...

Just tell us the truth!

Stay tuned...

Thursday, March 17, 2011



Helicopter #1 is full of water. Helicopter #2 has a line tied to a hose coming from Helicopter # 1. The two helicopters fly over the reactor with only the nozzle of the hose over the radiation plume. The two helicopters are many feet apart. They and their crews are "out of harm's way" but the water gets into the cooling pool.

Who knows...could work....

Send this idea along to anyone you know who might take it under advisement. Who knows...it could work. Gotta try everything!!

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Alice and Bill...A Love Story

Alice is beautiful. She cuts a gorgeous figure, especially when she's in the water.

Glistening, sunlit, svelte. Alice is just beautiful.

And my friend Bill is deeply in love with her. He's known her for quite some time and has been carrying on a love affair with all of the passion that one could imagine.

Bill is a sailor and a captain of big boats. For many years, he has made his living piloting yachts up and down the Eastern Seaboard and throughout the Carribean.

He and Alice have visited some wonderful places together. Ports like Key Largo, Sag Harbor and Northeast Harbor. And he and Alice have sailed together on the calm seas of Long Island Sound where Bill grew up.

Bill called me the other day to tell me that he and Alice were about to break up. After all of these glorious years together, there was another man. Alice wasn't to blame. Bill said that it was his own fault. He just thought he needed a change. He's a bit older now and thinking of retirement and wasn't sure if Alice would have a place in his "new" life. He had introduced the new guy to Alice in the hopes that she'd have a good home with him.

I was very sad and upset. I ranted and raved (Bill's description of my mood on the phone...)and told him that Alice was one of the most important things in his life. I reminded him of all of the times that he and Alice would head out on a beautiful Florida Keys late afternoon with a few cold beers to gently sail along into the sunset.

I reminded him of how Alice could soothe all of his hurt and, like almost nothing else, make him feel whole again. She could take all of his worries away, often along with his breath.

I told him that whatever he might spend on Alice, letting her go wouldn't save him any money at all. He'd be spending that money at the doctor's office treating some malady that Alice could have cured simply by being in his knowing, gentle, capable hands.

We hung up. I wasn't sure if Bill had "heard" me. He said he'd think about it and let me know.

Then, yesterday, the phone rang and it was Bill. He had changed his mind and decided to keep Alice! He told the other guy that Alice was no longer available.
He said he couldn't imagine seeing Alice going down the road trailing behind some other man.

He had called me to thank me for my words of encouragement. He realized that Alice was, in fact, as important to his health and well being as I had made her out to be.

He and Alice were still together and, hopefully, forever.

This was great news! Especially in view of the fact that I just got a 1968 Dyer Dhow. She's a nine foot sailing dinghy with lovely lines, a lot of bright work, brass fittings and a blue sail. She's stunning.

Bill and I agreed that we'd try to connect over the summer, he with Alice and I with the new dinghy, which we've christened "Little Buddy."

Alice and Little Buddy will look beautiful together, rafted up in the Connecticut summer sun, Little Buddy with her blue main and Alice with her white one.

Alice has bright work too and is a bit larger than our dinghy but no less adorable.

You see, Alice is a sleek Catboat and one of the loves of Bill's life...along with his wife Anna and his little dog, Mia.

Little Buddy is named for the love of my life, my wife, who is also named Mia, for whom Bill's cute little dog was named.

The picture of it in my mind brings tears to my eyes.

I can't wait!

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Yes, I Probably Can...!

Two recent events highlight, and reaffirm, my overriding sense of the possible.

Note that we live in an era of "NO."

Everyone is quick to tell you why you can't do something rather than support you in achieving your goal.

Maybe out of jealousy, maybe out of frustration, maybe out of a lifetime of reality.

Who knows but most of the time we hear "no" rather than "yes"...ergo...we have much more failure than we should/could.

So...in view of all of that, here's what happened.

Number One:

My hot water heater is not working properly. A few minutes of lukewarm water...that's all we get.

I went online and found an electric water heater that was being given away...
for free!

I went to the location, disconnected the unit from the electrical panel, drained the water and my wife and I carefully hauled it up from the basement and put it in my truck for the slow journey to my cellar.

I'll install it tomorrow. I can do basic plumbing and the electrical hookup is a piece of cake.


Water tank...$450


Number Two:

The collar that holds the garbage disposal onto the kitchen sink fell apart. We researched a replacement. The best we could do was order it from a supplier in Anaheim, California. It would take 10 days and, with shipping, cost $30.

Then my wife called the manufacturer and, when she told the operator that the piece had deteriorated, the woman said that she'd send out a new one for delivery in a couple of days...again, for free!

And I can reinstall it in 5 minutes.




So...when people say "NO" just reply "YES" and see what happens.

Who knows...you just might get "IT" for free!

What a concept!!

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Tax This...!

According to Consumer Reports, in March, 2010, the average price for a gallon of gas, nationwide, was $2.75 If your tank holds 14 gallons that's a cost of $38.50

Now, in March of 2011, the price is about $3.65, almost a dollar more.

So, if you fill up once a week it now costs you $51.10

That's a difference of $12.60

So when the politicians say that they don't want to raise taxes just remember that their ineptitude in Washington and the game of favorites that they play has, in effect, raised your taxes anyway...to the tune of $655.20 per year.

And I don't buy the notion that the turmoil in the Arab world is solely to blame. It certainly has had an effect, no question, but it is the relationship between Congress, The White House and Big Oil that has driven the prices steadily up over the past year.

I, for one, have no problem with paying taxes. Taxes buy the things that make my life better; relatively clean food, water and air, reasonable roads and highways, adequate education, some sort of health care and a military to protect me.

Not to mention 911 and the town dump and EMTs and Little League, Social Security, Head Start and Medicaid. It used to buy PBS too but that'll soon be gone. Unbelievable!

Taxes can be used for good things. It is the corruption and special interest that make taxes a problem, not the taxes themselves.

So the next time one of the Blowdried Blowhards in D.C. declares that he won't raise our taxes, raise your hand and ask,

"But, sir, what about the rise in energy costs? What about the rise in gas prices?"

He'll stutter and say that he has to "get back to you."

He'll have to ask his chauffer. After all he doesn't drive himself anymore. He gets driven in a limo.

All except Scott Brown who drives a big pickup truck that gets 10 miles to the gallon.

But what does he care about gas prices? He's a United States Senator.

The rules of the game don't apply to him.

Only to all of the rest of us schnooks.

"Fill 'er up...!"

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Galliano...On The Rocks?

Prediction...and you read it here first.

The Dior designer John Galliano, who is in hot water and may be fired by the fashion giant for alleged, anti-Semitic, Hitler admiring remarks...will reemerge in short order to head up his own line of clothing.

People will flock to buy and his name will be synonymous with quality and value.

Hopefully he will resist using a highly stylized swastika as his logo in favor of something a little less controversial.

After all, look how Martha Stewart rebounded after a conviction and prison term for insider trading.

The public has a very short memory and there are a lot of folks out there who feel the same way he does.

They'll buy his label and wear it proudly.

Such is the way of free enterprise and the Capitalist system.

Money talks and morality walks...naked in its' truth but increasingly less relevant in our daily lives.

"Does this make my ass look big?"

Singing fat ladies look good in anything, so there's still hope for the rest of us.

Out of Sight...

I had an interesting thought the other day.

What if I decided not to pay attention to the political or social situations in this country?

I remember a piece by the late, great comedian, Bill Hicks in which he talked about the Surgeon General's warnings on cigarette packages. He was a smoker and he said that he picked the warning that best suited him;

"Not suitable for pregnant women."


So what if I just didn't listen anymore? Would my life really be affected differently?

I get a little crazy when I read about Sarah Palin, the Republicans in Congress and Guantanamo. How can they do this?

I become a little bit unhinged when I read about Wall Street excess and corporate bounses.
The greedy bastards...!

Popular culture infuriates me with its' vapidity and meaninglessness. Charlie Sheen is outraged. I don't give a damn!

So what if I just turned off? No more noise from the Right...or the Left. No more talk of budget deficits and government shutdowns and collective bargaining...or Snookie.

No more Dancing With the Stars or American Idol...or other former, hasbeen, washed up, forgettable B-list wannabees.

Please...Paula Abdul always wished she were Michael Jackson and Steven Tyler has made a career out of aping Mick Jagger, who, in turn, made millions being the white, British Little Richard.

So...basta. Enough already!

What does all of this stuff mean to me anyway? Do I really care if they repeal Roe v. Wade? What if the seniors don't get their Social Security checks? How am I effected by Bernie Madoff's revelations or Natalie Portman's lifestyle?

These things, among endless others, are not a part of my life. They have no bearing on whether or not I'll wake up tomorrow. These things matter to other people, not to me.

But then...Pastor Neimoller reappears and I reevalute my self-centered position.

Then I realize that we are all one, all joined by common ancestry and common purpose.

Everything effects everything and everybody. Chaos Theory. The Butterfly Effect.

John Boehner's tan effects me. Jennifer Aniston's relationship status does too.

Bret Favre. Michelle Obama. Egypt. California. The Mets.

It all matters. I must listen.

I must be moved.

I must act.

...ah...maybe tomorrow.

Today I'm relaxing. I'm taking today off. Today I just don't care.

Hasta manana...!