Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Denis Leary...My Hero.

Merry F#!*ing Christmas...!

I would like to say, at the outset, that I am neither anti-Christmas nor pro-Christmas.

I am anti-baloney (and not the meat...I love the meat, especially with peas...how the baloney slices, or bologna if you are that pompous, curl up in the oven like little bowls and cradle the peas, oh so delicately...but...as usual...I digress...my mother is not famous for her cooking)

I think we spend entirely too much time during this time of year saying, "Merry Christmas" when we don't really mean it.

I was honked at today by some woman in a small silver car who didn't like the fact that I, a pedestrian, was deigning to cross the street...in a heavy traffic area mind you, where she couldn't go over 5mph, even if she had wanted to. Probably, not 5 minutes prior, she had said "Merry Christmas" to someone, no doubt a stranger...why not me...why don't I get a "Merry Christmas?" She would have no sooner run me down as look at me twice. "Season's Greetings" to you too, lady...

Merry Christmas...

Bull.

We go around saying it as though it had meaning. Who's "Merry" anyway? The guy with no job who has no money to pay the rent let alone buy anything for his family?

The elected official awaiting sentencing on fraud charges who will spend the next 5 to 15 saying "Merry Christmas" to his cellmate/lover?

The fallen sports star who was scheduled to say "Merry Christmas" on behalf of the XYZ Corporation until he was found in bed saying "Mary Christmas"...and I don't mean the Virgin in the manger either...

The president of a formerly powerful and prosperous nation which is now teetering on the brink of ruin because of all of the people in the lobby saying "Merry Christmas" to one another hoisting glasses of Dom Perignon purchased with our tax dollars?

The wizards of Wall Street who will only get 500 million dollar bonuses this year instead of the customary billion? There go all of the houses in all of the Hamptons worldwide...Long Island, Massachusetts, England..."pay no attention to the man behind the curtain!"

No, I'm all for Christmas greetings. But I would like them to come from people who really mean them. From the Doctors without Borders people...or the U.N. peacekeepers around the world...or the soldiers in Quagmire (the suburb of Kabul named after the suburb of Baghdad which was named after the suburb of Saigon...)...the people who work for Red...and for the countless other people around the globe who actually do good things for 364 days of the year without a greeting of any kind. They don't need Christmas to say "Merry" anything.

The joy in their lives comes from knowing that they have helped someone today...or that they saved a child from starvation or abuse...or that they read to an old woman dying in hospice...

Definitely "Merry Christmas" to all of them and the thousands like them.

Aside from them, "Merry F#!*ing Christmas" to the rest of you...especially that old bag who shot me the bird when I attempted to cross the street...coal for you...which actually isn't a bad gift this year as fuel prices are so high...I retract the coal...here's your Public Option...

Go stuff a stocking...

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