WTF...?!

Ok...I'm an idiot. Call me square and out of it and "unhip", if you like, but I just don't "get it..."

What the holy hell is the story with fashion these days?

I would love to do a social experiment sometime. I would love to take a camera and interview random people on the street, or at the mall, and ask them one simple question;

"Please explain your look."

I recently saw a middle-aged white man walking down the street with a Mohawk haircut. The reason I knew he was middle-aged was because his hair was...gray!

He also had an earring. A Mohawk and an earring.

Who was he trying to be? Theyendanegea?

A middle aged, middle class, middle of the road American man sporting a "do" that would make him the envy of every brave in the Iroquois tribe.

In Connecticut.

Walking down the street.

No settlers here my friend. No villages to attack. No cabins to plunder nor "wimmenfolk" to ravage.

Just folks in SUVs and mini-vans toodling around running errands. Nothing more adventurous than a trip to Walmart or the soccer field.

A gray Mohawk and an earring...and, actually, now that I re-emphasize it, a somewhat menacing look. Or maybe that was my impression.

I was so taken aback by his look that I guess I read menace into his demeanor.

Was he concealing a tomahawk? Was he intent on scalping me? Would he take my hair, which is also gray, and make it into a two piece wig to cover the shaven part of his bald head when he went on a job interview or a first date?

Was I going to be sacrficed on behalf of this fool's need to fit in with the rest of modern Northeastern society?

Was I going down because he had a median strip running down the middle of his middle-aged head?

I gathered my strength and did the only thing I could. I walked right by him, gave him a sidelong glance and, after we had passed one another, laughed the way Eddie Murphy did in Beverly Hills Cop when he walked passed the two guys in astronaut-like clothes.

I just laughed.

This guy looked ridiculous.

Maybe not to a squaw in Upstate New York.

But to me, a regular guy in Connecticut, he just looked plain silly.

But he may have thought the same of me. What with my designer jeans up to my nipples, my open patterned polyester shirt, my gold chain, my itty bitty pony tail and my Beatle boots with the zipper on the side.

Who knows...maybe I, too, had a menacing look. Maybe he was afraid that I'd attack him and steal his teeth.

I'm going to have to "chew" on that one for a while.

Pun intended...



Author's Note:

This is not meant to be racist in any way. I apologize, in advance, to any one I may have, inadvertently, offended.

I am not suggesting that the "look" described, is not a good one. It's fine for a Native American, who invented it.

Nor am I suggesting that Native Americans, are, or were, violent, as a group. History tells us that there were tragic interactions between the original residents of this land and the European immigrants. But that was usually in understandable response, by the normally peaceful natives, to the naked agression, prosletizing and land grabbing of the insatiable intruders.

I'm only saying that a non-Native American could look stupid posing as one...especially if his ancestors may have been responsible for the inhumane and immoral treatment of this country's indigenous population so many years ago that continues to this day on many of the reservations around the U.S.

I have used stereotype with poetic license only for it's intended effect. Native Americans are, and always have been, far more complicated and contributive to culture than mere stereotype could ever convey.

Good for the Casino tribes. The Native American's revenge on the stupid white men and their Mohawk haircuts!