Dixie Cups R Us

OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!

I am so unbelievably and completely, totally frustrated...and angry.

And I know that I am not alone!!

I called my bank today to verify a payment.

"If you want Joe...press one"

"If you want Pradesh...press two"

"If you want Ahmed...press three"

"If you want to committ suicide press a GUN TO YOUR HEAD...!!!"

I understand call centers. I have no problem with them. They save money and in some cases, even save time (but usually not...)

I support bringing emerging economies in line with ours (it will soon be the other way around but let's stay on topic, please...)

I understand and really love technology when applied to everyday life in a way that streamlines activities and gives me more time to worry about the lack of money in my bank account...

...oh yeah, that was the reason for my call today...remember...to verify a payment.

But my question could not be answered by the 75 choices I had in the electronic voice tree that was at my fingertip disposal (emphasis on disposal...)

I needed a human. I didn't care who...a guy in Kuala Lumpur...a gal in Amsterdam...a dude in Santa Monica...I couldn't have cared less...

...until I became entangled in "The Bank of America Automated Time Saving, Depositor Friendly, Drive You Nuts, Electronic Phone Tree"

It took me FOUR separate calls, each of about 5 minutes, to finally get a lovely woman in New Delhi, who told me what I needed to know.

Then I made the mistake of trying to communicate my aggravation to her. She took it personally and it took me almost another 20 minutes to assure her that my problem was not with her but with the system. By the tone of her voice I'm sure she was afraid that I would report her to her supervisor for an imagined infraction and she'd soon be feeding her family from the city dump, which is already over crowded with newly starving junketeers from Wells Fargo Bank...!

Just make the first option this one:

"Welcome to The Bank of America. If you want to talk to a human being press One.
If not, press Two for all of the 1,000,000 options that await your ever fraying 21st century patience.

Thank you.

No, I insist...F--- YOU!!!

Bring back Dixie Cups!!!