Tuesday, September 15, 2009

You're a...!

What is it with politicians named Joe?

They can't seem to keep their mouths shut.

Joe McCarthy

Joe Biden

Joe Wilson

Joe The Plumber (just kidding...although I thought he ran a quite effective third party campaign against McCain...)

Now, I happen to love Joe Biden ( he was actually one of my choices for President in '08) but he does have a knack for talking too much at the wrong time.

And we all know what havoc Senator McCarthy wreaked during the go-go fifties. Even my pediatrician was accused when I was a kid.

But what the hell is up with Congressman Wilson? What ever happened to civil discourse?
What happened to the concept of acting in a gentlemanly manner?

These guys should be ashamed! It's fine, as a matter of fact, down right American to dissent and to criticize. We would be China if we didn't.

But how about some manners boys. Didn't your mama learn ya better'n that?

No kidding...we elect these idiots to high office (no Clinton jokes please...) and then we are surprised at their behavior. Sex scandals, embezzlement, corruption...and now manners.

What's next? Failure to signal a turn? Putting the fork on the right? Passing audible gas in the elevator and not blaming the little old lady next to you?


Anyway...back on topic...can't we please play nice (ly...oh Mr. Safire...we do miss you so...)

Why does everything always have to descend into the basest of the base...? We were all taught, growing up, to be polite and to say please and thank you and "May I" (not "can I"...yes you are able to...but do you have permission...? Spare me...)

Where along the timeline of our lives do we lose the ability to be civil and deferential...even when we are frustrated and don't agree.

Joe, my boy, you should be ashamed...

Now write on the board 100 times...

"I will not disrespect the President. I will not disrespect the President"

Enjoy your fifteen minutes you ...#$%^&*!

Friday, September 11, 2009

Pull Over!!

I don't know about you but one thing that just frosts my derriere is being passed by a policeman on the highway.

I'm going the speed limit (usually)...he's, obviously, not.

What gives? And don't tell me he's rushing to get a doughnut while it's warm.

He's speeding because he can. "I'm a cop and you're not. Nah nah nah nah nah...!"

Ok...if he's going to the scene of a crime or going to help someone...it's understandable. Rock on officer...pedal to the metal...I'm all over it.

But just because his Crown Vic is set up to do 120 and he's got flashing lights and a shotgun and the power to pull me over for no apparent reason shouldn't give him the privilege of driving as fast as he wants and as fast as we would if we could. ("Cop didn't see it...I didn't do it - George Carlin")

Can you say "Citizen's Arrest?" Hah!!

Just not fair...

And while I'm at it...another thing that is irritating is the fact that construction zones have policemen guarding them. What the hell is that about? They put up an orange sign the size of your house. They put orange barrels up a mile away. They have flashing yellow lights and Jersey barriers. Why in God's name do they have to have a cop? He's often not doing anything useful. He's chatting with the workers (one reason why the projects take two or three light years to complete) or he's in his car on the phone or the computer or drinking coffee.

Society complains that there are not enough police to patrol neighborhoods or prevent crime.

Why then, are these highly trained, expensive and much needed and valuable public servants sitting in expensive cruisers at construction sites?

If it's to have a "presence" then just put an older cruiser there with the lights flashing and a dummy in the front seat. (and no, I am not suggesting, through some funny turn of a phrase, that cops are dummies. I have a lot of respect for the police. I really meant a dummy as in a mannequin...really.)

Nothing makes a driver slow down and obey the traffic laws more effectively than seeing a police car on the side of the road in front of them. Nothing.

Well almost nothing. Possibly the sight of a police car in the rear view mirror.

...coming up on their tail at 90mph lights a-flashing...

...on a doughnut run.