Little Boxes

When I was a little boy my parents were struggling financially as were many depression-era people who had lost so much during the economic meltdown of that time.

My father went to work everyday to a job he really didn't like and my mother, as did so many of her contemporaries, stayed at home to shop, cook, clean and, most of all, chase me around.

There wasn't that much money to go around and what there was was organized in a very specific way.  My father would give his checks to my mother and she would create a budget for our household.

There was a drawer in the secretary at the front door that was full of little boxes.  "Food", "Oil", "Clothes", "Misc."

My mother would allocate an amount of money to each box dependent upon the relative need of that "department."  And it was cash.  Bills and coins.  $1.50..$23.00...$5.76...whatever the item called for.

And my family never went without.  We always had what we needed.  We had food, shelter, clothes and even entertainment.

Granted, my parents shopped for bargains and cut coupons and saved trading stamps to redeem for whatever they needed.  But we had what was necessary and sometimes more.

We weren't poor.  We were solidly middle class with our own home and two cars and a dog and my father even had a boat for most of my childhood.

What the difference was between what my parents did and what's going on in Washington today...literally today...is that my parents lived according to what they had.  They saved and cut corners and were smart shoppers.  On the very few occasions that my parents were forced to borrow money they paid it back fastidiously.  If $25 was due on the first of the month it was paid on the first of the month.  My parents were NEVER late nor did they ever renege on a financial commitment.  EVER...

My father would sometimes work two jobs and turn the collars on his dress shirts. My mother would darn socks and squeeze the tube until the last drop of toothpaste was on the brush.

I don't want to make my parents out to be pioneers struggling to eke out a subsistence living on the Great Plains or loading up the car with everything they had to go to the growing fields of the San Joaquin Valley.

They were not Dust Bowl refugees so poignantly captured in Dorothea Lange's masterpieces.

They were just ordinary Americans living, working and raising a family in the 1950s. But what my parents did was take individual and honorable responsibility for their lives and the costs associated with having that family.

They didn't ask for help and didn't avoid their duties, parental or otherwise.  They were good, honest folks who believed in personal ethics and took their roles very seriously.

They wouldn't have done well in Washington (ironically, my father grew up in D.C. in the early 1900s) what with the dishonorable and cowardly way in which our elected representatives are conducting the nation's fiscal business.

The politicians are pointing fingers and, as Soledad O'Brien adorably described it on CNN this morning, just saying "blah, blah, blah" when discussing the sorry state of the budget "negotiations" taking place (or not taking place really...) in the Capitol.

We have borrowed more than we make and enshrined programs that we can't pay for.  We are in debt to our enemies and are in denial about the real sacrifices necessary to fix the financial problems that we have.

We are overrun by corruption and special interest influence and "led" by back biting, small minded, selfish people enamored of celebrity and money and power and not possessive of a shred of concern for the suffering their intransigence has caused or the general welfare of the citizenry.

Shakespeare wrote it right for Polonius when he said "Neither a borrower nor a lender be."

Thomas Paine said it better when he declared,

"Lead, follow or...GET OUT OF THE WAY!!!!"

(G)ay (O)ld (P)arty...?

And now comes news that The Republican Party, The GOP, The Grand Old Party...the Party of Lincoln (which lost to Obama and "Argo" for the same reason...boring!  Too bad the GOP didn't nominate Daniel "Threepeat" Day-Lewis instead of Willard...they might have won...) is in favor of same sex marriage.

Yeah...right!

Uh...well...I just don't believe that the Republicans really endorse gay rights and same sex marriage.

It is just a cynical ploy to garner votes for 2014 and beyond. It is just like their "Johnny (McCain)Come Lately" approach to immigration.

Willard showed the true stripes of the Republican Party with his, now infamous, "47%" remarks.  The GOP has shown nothing but contempt and a patent disregard for the welfare of minorities and the disadvantaged. 

Their policies hurt rather than help average Americans and the idea that, all of a sudden, they have been converted is ludicrous on its' face.

I will stipulate, with passion, that the Democrats are not much better at governing this country than the Republicans, if at all.  But, at least, they seem firm in their commitment to basic civil rights and economic fairness.

The Republicans have mostly been the party of the Elite and now, just like that, they are for the "common man...?"

Again, to that I say ..."Yeah...right!"

I have always admired the Republicans adherence to their values, sink or swim.  I may not always agree with them and I wish they were more flexible sometimes and I believe that new information should empower people to draw new and different conclusions...but...to, in a New York Minute, change horses, especially after suffering the sort of losses they did in this past election, seems disingenuous and blatantly self-serving.

They must think we, the voters, are amnesiac idiots.

Uh...um...let me get back to you on that...

So, as far as the Gay question and the Republican Party are concerned, I'll believe it when we have gay football players, gay leading men, gay politicians and a gay Pope.

Oh...we already do?

Let me get back to you on that one too...

Oh...and while we're at it...am I the ONLY person on the planet who regrets the loss of the word "GAY?"  Remember "The Gay Nineties", "A Gay Blade" and "Gay Ol' Time...?"

Come on folks...let's bring it back!  Let's start right here and reintroduce the word "Gay" as a joyful descriptive adjective.

Homosexuals already have "Homosexual" and a bunch of other unprintable monikers.  Just let us have "Gay" back.  Please!

If you do I'll join the Republican Party and really be Pro-Gay Rights...which I already am.

I just want to be Gay about it...!

"Ogay" with you...?



Correction:

In a previous post ( "Cut it Out!" ) I referred Congress' attempt to reach an accord to avoid the pending budget cuts as something that happened last year.  It actually happened in 2011.  My apologies.

Holy Cow or Holy Bull...?

Dedicated to one of my heroes, Maureen Dowd


What I know about Catholicism you could put in a small chalice.

I know next to nothing other than the fact that Midnight Mass was always fun with my friend because we would laugh and get caught by my her mother who would lean forward and stare across all of us in an attempt to guilt us into being quiet and serious but would only cause us to laugh more in that wonderful way you laugh when you're not supposed to...like in class or at a funeral or when an adult says "If you don't stop laughing and wipe that silly grin off your face you'll be in a lot of trouble"...which then, you inevitably, were...

So...Catholicism and me...not much there.  I respect it but I'm as dumb as a stone when it comes to understanding it.

But I do know about morality and the concept of honor.  I admit that I haven't always been a saint...or a choirboy...but I do know the difference between right and wrong and have tried to live good life.

It seems that the Catholic High Command has not gotten that message.  The Pope is resigning, something a Pope hasn't done for something like 700 years and, one after another, we hear of a priest or a cardinal ( I feel sorry for the bird, getting all of this bad press...they are so beautiful, especially set against all of the snow we've been getting lately...) being accused of some wrongdoing or another.

And most of it seems to have to do with sex which is not looked upon with too much favor at the Vatican.

Sex is okay if you're married...by the church...but not before marriage, not with a member of your own sex and never with a child.

But that seems to be the order of the day in the Order of the Priesthood.

Sex in spite of marriage, almost always with a member of their own sex and too often with little boys.

The only explanation is that the men of cloth are really just men at heart and have urges like the rest of us and because of the Church's ban on sex in the priesthood, they are left to only have sex...in the priesthood.

I feel sorry for those guys.  Surrounded by women who do everything they ask and other women who confess everything, often about sex, and the poor guys are left with no outlet.  No wonder they turn to each other and, unfortunately, to the powerless children in their care.

And the Vatican thinks it can police itself?  Classic fox/chicken coop stuff if you ask me. No way...

It's hard not to think that the Pope is giving up the Papacy and all of it's power only because he feels old and weak.

He's just not into the fight and is, as they say, "kicking the can down the road," to the next guy who will have to deal with the ever evolving sordid mess that has become the modern Catholic church.

But it seems that people never learn.  It seems that when someone is caught with their hand in the, proverbial, cookie jar that they just can't seem to come clean, take responsibility and let the dust settle.

Noooo...they have to prevaricate, dodge, connive and try to avoid consequence.

Richard Nixon. Lance Armstrong.  Pope Benedict...?

"Only the Shadow knows" and he ain't talkin'...

Cut it Out!!

I was struck the other day by a television news report about the effect sanctions are having on everyday life in Iran.

People are going without some basics and there is unemployment and discontent among the masses.

These conditions are a result, in part, of the drastic sanctions that have been levied by the United Nations in an attempt to do two things.

The stated priority is to force Teheran to desist from developing nuclear weapons.  The other, unstated goal, is to create regime change in the Islamic theocracy led by the Holocaust denier Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.

I almost met Ahmadinejad in New York once when I was covering his trip to the UN for CBS News.

We were staked out across from the Intercontinental Hotel waiting for any glimpse of Iran's president.  Our producer got word that he was in a meeting at a small office a few blocks away.  I took my camera and quietly went to the location, on a side street across from an outdoor café.

I took up a low profile position hoping for a scoop shot of him coming out.  I waited for about a half hour and wasn't disappointed.

There he was, diminutive, open collared and accompanied by just a few bodyguards as he came out, right toward me, on his way to his limo.

He saw me and, because I was smiling at him, came right in my direction as if he wanted to meet me and shake my hand.

At the last minute, before he could step off the curb, one of his handlers diverted him into his car and he was gone.

What I saw was not an ogre but a funny little man with a broad smile, seeming every bit like an "innocent abroad."

His demeanor made me question what was being said about him.  After all he had, in fact, made the remarks about the Holocaust and he is, in fact, the leader of an oppressive dictatorship.

But is he merely a puppet or really the mastermind behind all of the terrible things that have allegedly happened at Iran's hand?

Who knows?  Certainly not me nor the pundits or editorialists we rely so heavily on.

But...that's not the point of this post.  The point of this post is to draw a parallel between the hardships being experienced in Iran and the ones that we are about to experience here in the U.S.

The mandated cuts that have been talked about, without pause, over the past few months, are about to take effect.

The Congress couldn't reach an accord last year so, here we are on the brink of yet another financial disaster, because, once again, the headless (heartless...) "leaders" in Washington can't get out of their own way long enough to actually do something for the country rather than themselves and their puppetmasters.

But maybe that's exactly what's happening here.  Maybe there is method to the apparent madness that is our, so called, legislative process.

The GOP says they are willing to allow the Sequester cuts to go into effect in order to force, not only the spending cuts they claim to want but to, more importantly, force the conversation about the overall cost of government and the myriad programs we have chosen to create and fund.

Some argue that maybe the Republicans are trying to induce a regime change here just like the one the UN is trying to force in Iran...as they (the UN, not the Republicans...ahem...) tried (and failed...) to do in Iraq before the war there.

They have made no secret of their hatred of Obama (because he's black...) and the fact that they want to take over.

But is this really the way to do it guys?  To cut programs that are vital to the country's growth and well being.

Air traffic controllers?  Teachers?  FDA inspectors?  Really...?

The Democrats will blame the Republicans for whatever bad happens as a result of these cuts but the GOP is betting that Obama will ultimately take the bulk of the heat.

Who knows...their calculations may turn out to be right.

Then, in  2016, Paul Ryan will be elected president because Hillary will not be able to overcome Obama's failures, her own questionable past the Republican's political "Swift Boat" campaign tactics.

Then, Ryan will adopt his budget and the, then, Republican controlled Houas and Senate will pass it and we'll really see some cuts.

As Jim Carrey beautifully put it in "The Mask"...

"Hold on to your lug nuts! It's time for an overhaul!"

Stay tuned.

Glossy or Mat Finish?

This just in from the "This is the STUPIDEST Thing I've Ever Heard" Department.

There is talk of removing wrestling from the Olympics.

There is also talk of including...I'm so embarrassed here I can't stand it...talk of...I don't think I can say it...hold on, I'm trying to gain my composure...ok, I'm good, let go of my arm please...

...talk of including...I can't believe I'm writing this...of including...

ICE FISHING!!

Ice Fishing...?

uh...ICE FISHING!!??

What the hell kind of sport is ice fishing?  Everyone knows that ice fishing is simply an activity for lunatics who want to, 1) sit on the ice, drill a hole, wait for a fish and drink or, 2) an activity for lunatics who want to drag a small house complete with a television, heat, a refrigerator, food and a chemical toilet out on the ice, drill a hole, wait for a fish and...drink!

Where's the competition?  Where's the training?  Where's the sacrifice?

Wrestling is about strength and cunning and the ability to size up an opponent and, by virtue of conditioning and skill, be able to pin the other guy, who may very well be bigger and stronger and smellier.

Ice fishing is about the cold and random selection and BOREDOM!!!

One of the worst things about fishing, in general, is the tedium of waiting for the fish.  Once the enjoyment of getting there and fooling around with the pole, tackle and bait has subsided, it's all about sitting and watching and maybe, just maybe, after an interminable amount of time, maybe a fish will, at a minimum, nibble and possibly take the bait...and the hook, mind you...and then you can try to reel him in and then...usually...let him go.

Which seems stupid in and of itself...and cruel too. 

Go fishing, catch a fish, clean it and eat it.

Fine.  But the "catch and release" portion of the program seems somewhat silly.  I grant you, the fiddling around with the gear part is fun and being on, or near, the water, especially on, is one of life's great pleasures.  And the trying to catch a fish and actually reeling one in can be thrilling but it is all put into perspective when you think of the poor fish gasping for air while experiencing the pain of a hook in the mouth.

Kind of puts a damper on the whole enterprise if you ask me.

So an Ice Fishing event in the Olympics seems to me to be a bit ridiculous.

A gold medal for sitting on your ass on a frozen lake waiting for a fish.  Holy Jehosaphats!

What will the rules be?  A time limit?  A size limit?  What?  And how would one qualify?  Size of pole?  Sharpness of hook?  Stinkiness of bait?  What?  How?  WHO!?

So...Wrestling out, Ice Fishing in?

Athletes out...Couch Potatoes in?  What's next...Track out, Shopping in?

" And the gold goes to Marge of Lithuania for bagging the most groceries!"

Yay!  Way to go Marge! 

Marge on the Wheaties box, Marge in the Nike ads.

Jeeeeeesuz!  There goes the neighborhood...

There's Snow on the Roof

"Just because there's snow on the roof doesn't mean there's no fire in the furnace."

A wonderful saying to depict a youthful essence within an aging body.

You may have guessed it.  I feel old.

I'm not old, at least not by conventional, modern standards.  I'm in the "new middle age", the prime of my life.  And I'm waging a war with myself to stay phsychologically young.

The trouble is that I've been programmed to believe that this age...mine...is old age, senior, "golden."

Golden, my ass! The only thing golden about it may be a crown or two, or the frames of my glasses.
Not the pocket watch however.  I didn't spend enough time at any one job to be eligible for a gold one.

Those days are gone anyway.  What with the price of gold these days, you're lucky to get the box it came in let alone the watch itself.

I am, however, the proud owner of my grandfather's and my great-grandfather's pocket watches.

They are beautiful.  Real pieces of art now.  I love them.  I never use them but they are there, just the same, to remind me of the past, of my past.

It all seems so long ago now.  My first bike, my first movie, my first kiss.  Its all in black and white in my memory probably because all of the pictures my father took were in black and white.  Color film wasn't commercially available when I was a kid.  Neither was color television.

Neither was solid state so our first TV was enormous with a tiny, tiny screen on which we could watch any one of 4 stations.  Now I have an enormous color screen with 300 stations.  Funny how of those 300 there are really only 4 that I watch and three of those are Law and Order reruns.  The other is CNN so I can keep up on what's gone wrong in the world today.

A fellow ("fellow"...how quaint...Jeez..."quaint"...how quaint...) recently remarked to me that he wished there were a "good news" channel, as he called it.

I said it wouldn't last because good news doesn't sell.  It's not exciting enough or sexy enough.  It's not as compelling as a school massacre or a gun fight in a ski resort or a car bomb.  Now that's sexy!

I get tired when I shouldn't, hurt where I ought not to and am bored with almost every pop culture offering.

I think the latter is because there doesn't seem to be anything happening of originality in popular culture.

The music is a rehash of old stuff, the movies try too hard, fashion is slovenly and sports is so corrupted by drugs and money that it's hard to get enthusiastic.

And, if you know what's good for you, you will not get me going on politics. 

Eisenhower may not have been that smart but he was a bona fide hero.  Kennedy may not have been that smart but he also served his country with valor.  Johnson was a real deal maker and I may not have liked Richard Nixon that much but I miss his intellect and willingness to actually compromise unlike the idiots in today's Washington.

And Mickey Mantle may have been flawed but he signed autographs and was truly great without the steroids.

Marilyn Monroe was not much of an actress but she was naturally beautiful without Botox and implants and weaves and whatever else women think they have to do to be attractive to us.

The older I get the more I am reminded of another saying:

"You don't miss the water until the well runs dry."

I'm thirsty my friends.  What about you...?

I Love You SOOO Much!

I HATE the Internet, or The World Wide Web, or The Web or being "Online", or whatever the hell you want to call it!

I HATE IT!

Actually, truth be told, I love the Web.  It is an amazing tool for finding stuff out or for being entertained or communicating or promoting or selling something or finding stuff for free.

BUT THE ADS!  Oh My God...the friggin' ads are too much to bear.

I have a new PC (I used to be a Mac guy until I was forced to choose between selling my house or buying a new computer...) which I got for not a lot of money recently.  It's a perfectly good computer with all of the features one could want, with the exception of Office which I have yet to buy for an additional cost, which used to come with the computer but no longer does, because Microsoft needs to increase profits so Bill Gates can donate more money to the underprivileged so they can rise up out of poverty and become contributing citizens rich enough to buy more computers that don't have Office and will then have to buy the software for an additional cost...

Ah...sidetracked there for a minute...

The friggin' ads are SOOOO unbelieveably frustrating that they almost make you want to turn off the computer and buy a carrier pigeon and/or invest in Dixie Cups and string.

First, the computer takes its' own sweet time in booting up.  Then you have to navigate Windows  which, by universal measure SUCKS/BLOWS/is Terrible...!

Then you hit the Explorer icon, if you're using Explorer, which I do (I will hear from devotees of other browsers but...whatever...) and you have to wait for it to load.

I have Google as my home page.  Others have other home pages.  My hat goes off to you.  More power to you.  God Bless You...

Google loads and then I'm ready.

Where do I want to go?  The New York Times?  Craigslist?  Weather.com? My blog (to regale you...) Where, exactly?

Wherever.

But now the "fun" begins.

First I punch in the URL.  Then I am told that we are "waiting" for it to "respond.  Like it's a person or something.  "Hello..."  Nothing.  "HELLO...!"

Then FINALLY...the website I was after.

But NOOOOOOO...not so fast my friend.  Not so FAST!

Banners and popups and ads of all sort about everything and what's almost more disturbing, ads about stuff that I'm marginally interested in which magically appear on the screen as a function of previous searches or emails. Creepy...

I wish I could just go online and do what I came to do without being bombarded by the prevailing commercialism that has become the norm.

The once delightful Internet has become an unbridled marketplace of useless and, largely, unwanted crap that just serves to prevent us from actually doing what we came to do.

Communicate with friends.  Surf for entertainment or information.  Learn. Enjoy. Discover.

No longer.  The World Wide Web has become like broadcast television (including the venerable PBS and their Pew Charitable Trust and MacArthur Foundation drivel...), full of advertising and short on meaningful content.  Even the once pristine, easy to navigate world of Craigslist has ads now.  Tragic.

Some liken the modern Internet to the Wild West of the 1800s.

Maybe...maybe the bad guys shooting up a saloon after a cattle drive.  A bunch of morons with too much money, gambling, drinking, whoring, hung over and in need of a bath.

The World Wide Web.  Boot Hill. 

Too bad.  How to spoil a great thing.

Reminds me of the wonderful billboard that once greeted visitors to The Granite State (but in the case of the Web, is too late):

"Welcome to New Hampshire.  Now go home..."